If the relationship with our children is right, all else will follow!
A friend of mine recently made this comment when we were discussing discipline and raising children. Wow, how true. The more I thought about it, the more it challenged me.
I’m a stay at home mum, I basically spend 24-7 with my son, going to groups, playing with him, talking to him, raising him, but am I always connecting with him? Of course I must be, right? Well, I think it’s perfectly possible to spend all our time with someone, and still not connect with them.
Over the last few months I’ve really noticed how as Jonas has grown, I need to work even harder to maintain my connection with him. When he was a baby I could just cuddle him, feed him, talk to him and we connected. But as he has grown, his personality has developed, the things he enjoys have changed, and I need to find the best ways to connect with him within that. Children are all different and I need to continually be looking at those things Jonas enjoys; the things that are special to him.
I’ve also noticed that on those days that I get lots of one-to-one time, his behaviour is amazing. On those days when we do lots of things, and see lots of people, but perhaps don’t actually get a heart connection, his behaviour can deteriorate. Interesting! This has really challenged me. I want to protect that relationship and our connection above anything. So, I’ve reordered my routine. We go to lots of baby groups but I’ve started doing more structured groups where the focus encourages more one-to-one time. We have started a gymnastics class. They have a trampoline and it’s by far Jonas’ favourite thing. When the trampoline is free, Jonas loves to pull mummy on with him. I jump and he jumps higher than usual, falling and laughing in hysterics! As I get off he says ‘Mumma, please’ pulling me back on. There’s that connection. That special time just us, doing something he loves. Something that can only be achieved when I make time to do those important things to him.
It’s the same with our relationship with God. If you’re a Christian, you already have a relationship with God! You can be with Him every day, even talk to Him, but are you connecting with Him? Are you praying, listening, making that one-to-one time? Time when it’s just you and Him? Because, just as it is with my son, the same follows with our Heavenly Father, if the relationship is right, everything else will follow! So, I protect my connection, with my son and with God! I make time to do those important things, to play with Jonas in the ways he loves, to do the things he loves to do, and I make time to pray, to read the bible. Not because I have to, but because I love to, because of utmost importance in my life is my relationship with my family, and my Father.