The Unseen Mummy

Ninja Eyes
Photo credit: Jon Winters

Do you ever feel like you wish other ladies would look and you and think ‘she’s a great mummy’? Do you wish that your baby cried less around other mums? Or maybe you wish that, in the unlikely event (she types smiling!) your toddler would throw a tantrum, please oh please can it be when we are at home, or somewhere quiet, but not in the middle of a busy shopping centre or supermarket. Because you desperately don’t want others to see these difficult things, and make some sort of judgement on you. Perhaps you wish your husband, for just one day, would do every little thing you do at home, juggling the child care, cooking, cleaning, planning, maybe employment as well, because surely only then can he fully appreciate all that you do and see just how much work it really is! See what an amazing mummy you are.

Maybe you’re finding it tough right now because you do so much, you give of yourself so much all day, but the majority of these good things go unseen. No one knows them. No one sees the patience you show when you have had a hard day and your toddler tests you again, no one sees when you rock and sing to your baby for the 4th time in the middle of the night until they drift off but you are exhausted. No one knows how you smile, sing, laugh, go out, clean up mess, pick food off the floor many, many times, giving of yourself over and over again when inside you feel exhausted. But perhaps all they see are those crying fits your baby has, or those tantrums.

Perhaps you feel demotivated, wishing that someone would notice. Surely someone must give you credit for all that you do.

Sometimes it can feel like we desperately want recognition, or appreciation from others, because surely only then is what we are doing of great worth. Surely only unless others see what we do and give us praise can we be doing it right, or well. Right? Wrong!

I think being a mummy is probably one of those jobs where most of what we do of value is hidden. Most of those things of true value, in the way we give of ourselves are done in quiet. When we are at home with our children and we give, give, and give again, feeling tired and sometimes frustrated, or run down, but we pick ourselves up and give some more because our babies are so worth it. And it can feel like no one will ever see all we do. But there is One who does. There is One who sees everything, and is pleased with all those times you have poured yourself out for this tiny bundle of joy, because when we give of ourselves like this, it’s real love. There is One who sees the patience, the joy, the perseverance, the kindness, the gentleness and will reward every little act of love. No I’m not talking about your baby, but God. He sees it all. And maybe our friends will sometimes give us one of those amazing compliments we probably all love to hear when they tell us we are great mummies, but actually, the One who sees everything is the only one we really need to be concerned about getting recognition from.

Maybe my friends that see me a lot of the time think I’m a great mummy or maybe they think I could do better, I hope it’s the first one, but so much more than this I hope that when I go to bed every night, and I consider how my Father in Heaven would view all I’ve done that day, what my heart has been like, how much patience, or love, or joy, or perseverance I’ve shown towards my baby, He is pleased. Because if I have poured myself out for my son, and given to him in the best way I can, I know this goes noticed by Him. I know this is of true value to the One who sees it all! And I know that nothing I ever do for my baby, no sacrifice I’ve ever made, will ever go unnoticed! And when we realise this it brings a real freedom just to enjoy motherhood, free from worrying what others think, or being concerned with not being seen by others, because I know I’m seen by him.

One thought on “The Unseen Mummy

  1. Really loved this Kate. Real revelation and brings real focus to all our efforts. The sacrifice we give in secret reflects the love of our saviour. He sacrificed it all without any appreciation and he still loves us! Really great blog. Keep going!! Xx

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