What I Wish I Knew Then

What I Wish I Knew Then
Photo credit: Alex

I’ll never forget that first time we brought our son home from hospital when he was just two days old. To be honest we probably left prematurely. I felt sick and in pain the whole journey home and yet I sat in the backseat of our little car just to keep a close eye on my beautiful boy, to check he was still breathing. I’d been around children for years, so felt like motherhood would be easy, but honestly, I felt overwhelmed. If only I knew then what I know now.

As we brought our bundle of joy into the house my head was spinning with concerns. How do I make sure he has enough milk, what if he stops breathing in the night, what if he starts choking. I still remember now in my sleep deprived state trying to read through a leaflet we had been given on dealing with choking in babies. I must have read it three times over with the words slipping past me as I was so shattered. I wanted to make sure, no, I needed to make sure he would be ok. To look after him. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Maybe you can relate to some of my experience, maybe your moments of struggle came later on, when the sleepless nights continued. Perhaps you’re in those moments of struggle right now. May be you feel utterly overwhelmed and incapable of this great task of motherhood that lies before you.

But here’s the thing. Here’s the thing I forgot when I brought my son home almost three years ago. You’re not in this alone. It is not solely your job to protect this precious gift. Yes they have been entrusted to you, and yes you will do you utmost to look after them, but in the night, when you sleep, someone else watches over them. As you do your best in feeding them, and loving them, someone else guards them. God watches over our little bundles of joy, and here’s the great news:

He who keeps you ‘shall neither slumber nor sleep’ – Psalm 121:4

Perhaps you need reminding of this today. Maybe you need to remember that when you make a mistake, and your parenting is not perfect, someone else is! When you can’t be there all the time, someone else will! And that love with which you love your baby, that love you think no one else could possibly also feel for them, someone else does – God!

I have learnt something over the last three years, something invaluable: I do my best as I raise my son, I protect him with all I am, I love him with all I am and I look to raise him in the best way possible, but my confidence rests in more than that. I know as I commit my son to God, as I seek to raise him with wisdom only God gives, as I pray for protection over him, I can rest in the certainty that I’m never alone in my parenting. I can rest assured that my son will be just fine, and so will I.

Share this to encourage any mums you know who may need to hear this x

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