I don’t know about you but some days it’s easy to feel I’m just going through the motions. Filling my day waiting for Alan to walk in the door before dinner. Going through the bedtime routine so we can get to that 7pm deadline when I can grab even 30 undisturbed minutes to myself. Waiting for the weekend when we have time as a family. But it struck me recently, am I wishing away motherhood?
I’ll be honest at 18 weeks pregnant and mum to an active little boy who likes to keep his mummy on her toes, sometimes I feel desperate for a sit down or even better, a snooze! Some days I long for that lunchtime nap just so I can sit alone and chill out completely, assured in the knowledge my little man in safely tucked up in bed and out of trouble.
And then there’s the afternoons. They’re great, we often spend some 1-1 time just us when I can give my son the quality play time he desires, when we sit and play with his beloved Fireman Sam figures or cause traffic jams with his abundance of cars. These times are precious but I still find myself longing for the sound of my husband’s car pulling up in the driveway. It signifies an extra helping hand and one step closer to bedtime.
I love being a mummy. It’s incredible, a privilege and so much fun but boy sometimes it’s tiring. Let’s be honest as mothers we are all juggling about 20 things at once, we need eyes in the back of our heads, six arms and to be able to run faster than a cheetah! It’s no wonder there are days that we long for nap time or afternoons when we long for the arrival of a helping hand.
But when thinking about this recently I realised something. I realised these moments that are tiring, hectic, sometimes stressful, they’re life. That is motherhood. So to wish past each moment to the next is almost to wish motherhood away.
And then I looked at my little treasure, remembering once again how incredibly precious he is, how special time with him is. Is it tiring, yes. Can it be chaotic, definitely. Is it sometimes stressful, yep, but wow it’s a huge privilege. Because today, this normal day, when there is washing to hang, chores to do, a toddler group to rush out to, nappies to change and a toddler to reason with, this is life, this is motherhood.
There will always be busy days. There will always be new challenges to tackle in parenthood, honestly as long as there are young children there will probably always be tiredness. But these moments, these days with our children at this age, with these facets and wonderful expressions that melt your heart, with that dependency that can be exhausting but is also the most special part of motherhood, those things will pass. Those things we can wish away and before we know it, they might be gone.
I want to cherish each moment, each day when life is normal, when motherhood with all its beauty and yet also hard work continues in the everyday fashion, because one day I won’t have my little man running around the house. One day I won’t have a toddler to keep up with. One day he will have his own house full of children and then I know I’ll long to relive these precious moments we call motherhood.