As I write this my son’s at Playschool. I’m sat here with a cuppa and cheeky piece of chocolate cake and actually getting time to sit and write, something I love and I’ll be honest, I feel energised. Getting time to myself isn’t something I have a lot of chance to do and yet I’m starting to realise just how important it is.
Are we really available to our children? Do we make time for them and their passions in our busy schedules? Are we really present when we’re with them, or are we also elsewhere?
A few months back I sat in a coffee shop with my family and glanced over at four teenage boys sat together enjoying a coffee. Four friends enjoying time together, or so you’d have thought. Actually three of them sat on their phones engrossed with what they were reading and one sat there watching the others and looking around. This went on the whole 20 minutes I sat in the coffee shop.
This week I’m taking part in a blog hop where myself and other bloggers get to share 10 random facts about ourselves that you may not know. It’s a been great getting to know other bloggers and reading their incredible posts so please join me in checking theirs out.
So, in no particular order, 10 things you probably didn’t know about me:
1) I’m super-duper organised and can’t stand clutter around the house. My poor husband has to deal with me tidying away every little thing he leaves out and finding its’ new home. It’s laughable now but I spent the morning after Jonas’ birth in hospital tidying his clothes into the small bedside draw as I couldn’t stand the mess… hmm, lesson learnt for next time, while the baby sleeps… sleep!
After recently sharing another bloggers post on a similar subject line which received mixed feedback, I decided to write my own post on this topic.
I believe being a good mummy has a whole lot more to do with your heart than always getting it right. However excelling in motherhood, this is something we can actually help ourselves out in by doing certain things to make life a little easier.
Just like in any job role there are always tips on how to do things in the best and most effective way, motherhood is no different. So here’s my thoughts, ten top tips to help us all thrive in motherhood:
A mum: someone who always has countless hours to sit and play with her child, loves every single second of it, whilst also fitting in teaching them so they are ahead of the crowd when it comes to counting, or talking, or reading. On top of this, the house always, always looks pristine, the washing pile is always empty, and the food cupboards always stocked up! Her husband is happy, and she is contented. Sounds about right! If you’re a mum, this has probably already made you smile, because the reality is, there is always a huge list of seemingly never-ending demands!
Particularly as a stay at home mum you might think that I have countless hours to sit and play with my son, yet the reality is, even as a mum who is in theory always with my boy, there is always a constant stream of other demands, or things to do, or things taking my attention from my son.
I don’t think I used to fully appreciate the true value or meaning of rest before I had Jonas. I enjoyed it, but I didn’t realise how important it was, until it became such a rarity. If you’re a mum, you will probably agree that since having your gorgeous baby (or babies!) finding time to stop, or relax, or time for yourself, or even time to sleep can seem at best difficult or at worst impossible.
Do you feel like there is always something to be doing, or always something that needs cleaning, or sorting, or someone who always needs entertaining or consoling. I do! I can look around me and in a second make a huge list of things that need to be done that day, many of which I don’t even get chance to start. Particularly as a stay a home mum, I think it can be very hard to stop noticing this huge list of things to do. Our home is our place of work and so it can be hard to switch off!
Let me set the scene for you. My son throws something on the floor, I calmly and casually ask him to pick it up. He says ‘No’! I ask him again, this time sounding slightly more firm but still fairly laid back. He says ‘No’ again. I then tell him sternly to pick it up. Guess what he says, ‘No’! I then loudly tell him to pick it up before he decides to run into another room. Never one to back down and also someone who feels very strongly that when I ask something as a parent, if I don’t follow through on seeing it happen, my son will see a loop-hole every time I ask him to do something. So what do I do, follow him. Follow him and take him back to the thing he threw, until he eventually picks it up.
Do you ever feel like you wish other ladies would look and you and think ‘she’s a great mummy’? Do you wish that your baby cried less around other mums? Or maybe you wish that, in the unlikely event (she types smiling!) your toddler would throw a tantrum, please oh please can it be when we are at home, or somewhere quiet, but not in the middle of a busy shopping centre or supermarket. Because you desperately don’t want others to see these difficult things, and make some sort of judgement on you. Perhaps you wish your husband, for just one day, would do every little thing you do at home, juggling the child care, cooking, cleaning, planning, maybe employment as well, because surely only then can he fully appreciate all that you do and see just how much work it really is! See what an amazing mummy you are.
If the relationship with our children is right, all else will follow!
A friend of mine recently made this comment when we were discussing discipline and raising children. Wow, how true. The more I thought about it, the more it challenged me.
I’m a stay at home mum, I basically spend 24-7 with my son, going to groups, playing with him, talking to him, raising him, but am I always connecting with him? Of course I must be, right? Well, I think it’s perfectly possible to spend all our time with someone, and still not connect with them.