Do you ever feel like you wish other ladies would look and you and think ‘she’s a great mummy’? Do you wish that your baby cried less around other mums? Or maybe you wish that, in the unlikely event (she types smiling!) your toddler would throw a tantrum, please oh please can it be when we are at home, or somewhere quiet, but not in the middle of a busy shopping centre or supermarket. Because you desperately don’t want others to see these difficult things, and make some sort of judgement on you. Perhaps you wish your husband, for just one day, would do every little thing you do at home, juggling the child care, cooking, cleaning, planning, maybe employment as well, because surely only then can he fully appreciate all that you do and see just how much work it really is! See what an amazing mummy you are.
If the relationship with our children is right, all else will follow!
A friend of mine recently made this comment when we were discussing discipline and raising children. Wow, how true. The more I thought about it, the more it challenged me.
I’m a stay at home mum, I basically spend 24-7 with my son, going to groups, playing with him, talking to him, raising him, but am I always connecting with him? Of course I must be, right? Well, I think it’s perfectly possible to spend all our time with someone, and still not connect with them.
A very wise mother of three once said “we are not going to have the terrible two’s in our house!” We had just been discussing how there can be a lot of negativity around parents. Many parents seem to want to warn you of the hardships to come. It’s almost as if when people have had a hard experience in a certain area of parenting, they like to tell you that you will have the same.
There’s a lot of negative warnings that if we are not careful we can almost come to accept without giving it a second thought! One of these is the so called “terrible two’s”. Now this wise lady, whom is someone I have a lot of respect for, refused to have these in her house. She refused to look at the challenges of toddlers through a negative light. Now I understand the sentiment behind this “terrible two’s” statement. I appreciate there are certain things that toddlers do around the age of two which can be particularly challenging, and perhaps this is the first age where we really start to see our children willingly testing us. But the point is this, I think when we start to agree with negative statements like this we can almost find ourselves in the position of finding things hard before we even start!