I love bedtime with my son. Not because he goes to sleep and mummy gets a break (although that is always nice!), but because I believe it’s a massively important part of the day and one that could so easily be overlooked in the rush to get the lights out. The question is are we using this time to really impact our children or is this just a quick kiss goodnight before we rush downstairs to put the TV on and our feet up.
I’ll never forget that first time we brought our son home from hospital when he was just two days old. To be honest we probably left prematurely. I felt sick and in pain the whole journey home and yet I sat in the backseat of our little car just to keep a close eye on my beautiful boy, to check he was still breathing. I’d been around children for years, so felt like motherhood would be easy, but honestly, I felt overwhelmed. If only I knew then what I know now.
I wonder right now how many people have lost hope. Perhaps you’ve been through something awful, maybe there’s something you’re pursuing that hasn’t yet turned out as you wanted, or maybe you’re just disappointed. Disappointed by life, let down by the way some things have turned out and feeling hopeless. What can you do?
Perhaps you’ve prayed. Maybe you’ve cried out to God a hundred times asking for Him to change something and yet nothing has. Maybe you don’t even believe in God.
Becoming a mum is quite possibly one of the biggest life changes we can go through, your time is no longer your own and there are constant demands. If you’re a believer in Jesus then I’m sure you’ll agree making time for God is important, but how do you prioritise God amongst the necessary demands of motherhood and seemingly endless chores? How do you find time when your energy is spent on your little ones?
Having been employed previously in incredibly demanding roles, I can honestly tell you that my time has never been more limited that now. I juggle constant demands of looking after my growing boy along with looking after a household of 5 and all that entails. Life has never been so busy. Time has never been so stretched. My energy levels have never been as challenged. And yet I can honestly say I spend more quality time with God, seeking Him, reading His Word & worshipping Him then ever before.
After recently sharing another bloggers post on a similar subject line which received mixed feedback, I decided to write my own post on this topic.
I believe being a good mummy has a whole lot more to do with your heart than always getting it right. However excelling in motherhood, this is something we can actually help ourselves out in by doing certain things to make life a little easier.
Just like in any job role there are always tips on how to do things in the best and most effective way, motherhood is no different. So here’s my thoughts, ten top tips to help us all thrive in motherhood:
About a year ago I started feeling extremely tired, more than that, exhausted. My son was sleeping brilliantly and had been for months, but I felt exhausted. I would sleep well and wake up tired. I would do things in the day and by the time I got home at lunchtime to put Jonas down for his nap, I would struggle to muster up the energy to walk up the stairs, let alone do any of the chores I needed to do that afternoon. This was difficult, I hated feeling like this because I am an active person; I love ‘doing’ things all the time. I felt trapped and I hated it.
You wouldn’t believe the things that have broken in our house over the last few months. First our little car massively failed it’s MOT and would have cost more to fix than it was worth, so we needed a new one. Then our washing machine broke, then the oven. Also my hairdryer, kitchen scales and the kettle, and no I’m not exaggerating. Then to top it all off, we have had problems with our electrics looking likely to cost over £400. Wow! Talk about it all coming at once.
Being a stay at home mum, in a one income household where spare money is incredible limited and definitely not naturally able to cover all these things, my first reaction was one of stress. How can we afford all these things? What are we going to do? Where will this money come from? But in that instant, when I started to feel stressed I felt God remind me of something. He reminded me of the countless times over the last couple of years that we have needed provision for something, we have prayed, and a week or so later we have received unexpected provision or a cheque through the post. Over and over again we have seen God’s faithfulness in this area and this is no different.
When I had my son, it was incredible. Nothing can prepare you for just how much you will love this little bundle of joy. But there was something else I hadn’t prepared for. Something I hadn’t been expecting. FEAR.
There are no two people I love more than my husband and my son. But my love for my boy was a new kind of love I’d not experienced before. A fierce, protective love! I was his protector. And more than that. Every action I do, every word I say to him, was impacting him, shaping him, raising him. I’d not known this love before because I’d always been the one protected. By my parents when I was younger, and now by my husband. But this love, this was new. And with new love, comes new responsibility, and with this, came FEAR.
Let me set the scene for you. My son throws something on the floor, I calmly and casually ask him to pick it up. He says ‘No’! I ask him again, this time sounding slightly more firm but still fairly laid back. He says ‘No’ again. I then tell him sternly to pick it up. Guess what he says, ‘No’! I then loudly tell him to pick it up before he decides to run into another room. Never one to back down and also someone who feels very strongly that when I ask something as a parent, if I don’t follow through on seeing it happen, my son will see a loop-hole every time I ask him to do something. So what do I do, follow him. Follow him and take him back to the thing he threw, until he eventually picks it up.
Jesus. I’m intrigued how many people click on this post! Will the title draw you in, intrigue you, or put you off reading? I guess I’ll see the answer when I see the number of readers! But one thing I know to be true, how ever many posts about parenting I have done so far, and how ever many I will do, it doesn’t matter whether they are about breastfeeding, bottle feeding, weaning, potty training, discipline, love, more important than any of these, is this name, this topic, this relationship: Jesus.
Why? Because no matter what the problem is, no matter what we are going through as parents, be it not knowing what to do, not knowing how to feed, or how to discipline. Maybe your toddler’s having tantrums,or you are experiencing emotional problems, or financial problems, there is one person that changes everything.