I am and have always been an active person. I love doing things, going out and especially love seeing people. For me a big culture shock that I wasn’t expecting was when Jonas was three weeks old and Alan went back to work after paternity leave. I had previously been in an extremely busy job whereby I was doing things all day long and had a structured routine. I suddenly found myself alone at home with no one to talk to and no routine whatsoever. I loved being a mum but I wanted structure; I needed friends going through the same stage of life to share things with and I needed to know I had something to do each day rather than just be at home alone.
I had lots of friends that were mums so I would obviously see them throughout the week when I had Jonas, or so I had thought. What I hadn’t realised was that as their children were older, they would be going to different groups more appropriate for their child’s age, they would have routine’s structured around nursery times and my week would not be quite as busy as I had expected. So what did I do? Perhaps slightly prematurely I decided to take my six-week old to toddler groups! This was slightly unusual for a baby so young but I longed to make new relationships with mums in the same position.
I found myself feeling quite frustrated in those early weeks as this tired out first time mummy (that can’t drive I might add) would walk 30 – 45 minutes most days going to toddler groups trying her best to build up her new life getting to know mums. However, making lifelong friends doesn’t happen overnight and it certainly doesn’t happen within a few weeks of only seeing someone once a week at a noisy baby group! However fast forward 21 months and I find my weeks so busy that I have to be very careful not to book in too much. I have set groups that I go to every day and amazing friends that I can laugh with, cry with, share stories with and generally love doing life with. Some of which have become my closest friends!
Now you may be a new mummy who isn’t quite ready to get out to groups yet, and that’s ok. To be honest in retrospect I would probably spend a few more weeks chilling at home before trying to get out the house so much. But once you feel ready, get out, go to groups (for which in my hometown, Horsham, there are many, many fantastic groups) and get to know mums. Because with time, you will form new friendships, you will find mums going through exactly the same stage of life as you, and you will find your feet as a new mummy. Motherhood is amazing and a gift from God, however sharing it with friends is an even bigger blessing.