I wonder if you have given much thought to what you want your children to be like when they are older. Have you considered the values that are important to you that you would like them to take on, have you thought through what you want your family to look like in 10 years. It’s very easy to amble through life, taking each day as it comes and responding to our children’s needs one day at a time, but unless we consider what we want them to be like, or act like, or what’s important to our family, it’s very unlikely we’ll see these things happening automatically.
If the relationship with our children is right, all else will follow!
A friend of mine recently made this comment when we were discussing discipline and raising children. Wow, how true. The more I thought about it, the more it challenged me.
I’m a stay at home mum, I basically spend 24-7 with my son, going to groups, playing with him, talking to him, raising him, but am I always connecting with him? Of course I must be, right? Well, I think it’s perfectly possible to spend all our time with someone, and still not connect with them.
It struck me recently just how many mums feel guilty. They have said or done something that is less than perfect and end up feeling bad. This is so sad, when being a mummy and raising young children is such a special time in our lives, we don’t want to end up carrying a constant burden of guilt. I know from my own experience this is easy to do. Why? Because when we love our children more than anything, we want the absolute best for them. We never want to show them a less than perfect love, and we want every single word, action and experience we give them to show how much we love them. Although this is a good thing, a big learning curve for me when I became a mum was realising I will never be a perfect mum or get everything right. As much as I may strive for this I will never achieve it, because I’m not perfect. Being a mum is my absolute priority but I have discovered that if I strive for perfection, I am setting myself up for failure. So now I try my best, but I accept that if I look back at the end of a day and think I could have done something a bit better, I need to let it go and just ask God for grace and wisdom to do it better tomorrow.