As I write this my son’s at Playschool. I’m sat here with a cuppa and cheeky piece of chocolate cake and actually getting time to sit and write, something I love and I’ll be honest, I feel energised. Getting time to myself isn’t something I have a lot of chance to do and yet I’m starting to realise just how important it is.
Are we really available to our children? Do we make time for them and their passions in our busy schedules? Are we really present when we’re with them, or are we also elsewhere?
A few months back I sat in a coffee shop with my family and glanced over at four teenage boys sat together enjoying a coffee. Four friends enjoying time together, or so you’d have thought. Actually three of them sat on their phones engrossed with what they were reading and one sat there watching the others and looking around. This went on the whole 20 minutes I sat in the coffee shop.
I’ll never forget that first time we brought our son home from hospital when he was just two days old. To be honest we probably left prematurely. I felt sick and in pain the whole journey home and yet I sat in the backseat of our little car just to keep a close eye on my beautiful boy, to check he was still breathing. I’d been around children for years, so felt like motherhood would be easy, but honestly, I felt overwhelmed. If only I knew then what I know now.
Do you ever feel lacking in purpose in motherhood? Like you’re not achieving anything of worth by being at home with your children and you’re just filling time? Stay at home mums and working mums alike, we all spend time with our children and yet it can be easy to see this time as menial.
I find it fascinating that in today’s society so much emphasis is placed on career status. In fact I recently watched an interview where they stated less women are having children now than ever before. One reason they suggested was because women are taught to go get their career; achieve for themselves first and put children on the back burner.
Becoming a mum is quite possibly one of the biggest life changes we can go through, your time is no longer your own and there are constant demands. If you’re a believer in Jesus then I’m sure you’ll agree making time for God is important, but how do you prioritise God amongst the necessary demands of motherhood and seemingly endless chores? How do you find time when your energy is spent on your little ones?
Having been employed previously in incredibly demanding roles, I can honestly tell you that my time has never been more limited that now. I juggle constant demands of looking after my growing boy along with looking after a household of 5 and all that entails. Life has never been so busy. Time has never been so stretched. My energy levels have never been as challenged. And yet I can honestly say I spend more quality time with God, seeking Him, reading His Word & worshipping Him then ever before.
Are you fed up of feeling tired, constantly lacking in energy and in need of a lift? You’re not alone! There’s no doubt being a mummy can be exhausting. We need to get creative in maximising our energy levels. Here’s my story of how I went from exhausted to energised within a week:
I had recently felt challenged to start being careful about my diet. It’s not that I’d been overly unhealthy, but how much fruit was I eating? How many carbs was I having? I was feeling particularly tired and in need of a change so February has been a detox month for me. It’s been a month of getting on top of my lifestyle, making little changes rather than drastic diets and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve never felt better.
Here’s the changes I’ve been making that have taken me from tired and lethargic to feeling fab!
Have you ever felt like you’ve made a massive mistake? Have you ended up feeling guilty and wishing you could go back and do things differently? Mistakes can make us feel awful, but they don’t have to. Here’s why mistakes in parenting can actually be a good thing!
Two and a half years into parenting and one thing I am quickly learning is mistakes & being a parent go hand in hand. We so desperately want to get it right for our children, but the reality is, we never will 100% of the time.
When Jonas was about 4 months old I was out with a friend who had a baby of a similar age. This was not her first and so she was more experienced. I found myself in a situation whereby she was going to handle a scenario a certain way. I had never been confronted by this particular situation before and so I just went along with her way of doing things, not wanting to seem fussy. On the way home I thought things through and decided I should have done things differently.
Isn’t it so easy to judge other mums? Doesn’t it sometimes seem so natural to look at how they do it, and compare. To make some sort of estimation of their parenting in a moment of observation. But don’t we all hate being on the receiving end of this?
I observed a scene recently; a mum seemed rather annoyed that her child had been hurt by another child. She then fairly loudly stated her disapproval. I looked over to see the mum of the apparent offender, sat breastfeeding a baby, another child no more than 1 in a high chair and her daughter running around.
I’m sure she heard the comment made and I wondered how she felt. She’d managed to get out with three young children in tow, an achievement in itself. Managed to keep them all calm and was apparently about to be informed of the incident. Was this helpful?
About a year ago I started feeling extremely tired, more than that, exhausted. My son was sleeping brilliantly and had been for months, but I felt exhausted. I would sleep well and wake up tired. I would do things in the day and by the time I got home at lunchtime to put Jonas down for his nap, I would struggle to muster up the energy to walk up the stairs, let alone do any of the chores I needed to do that afternoon. This was difficult, I hated feeling like this because I am an active person; I love ‘doing’ things all the time. I felt trapped and I hated it.
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Like you just aren’t quite enough for your baby. Like sometimes you make mistakes? Like some days, you try so hard, but still don’t seem to get it all right.
Whether it’s giving your baby enough time, or attention, or being patient enough, or getting the discipline exactly right, with the right level of sternness but also the correct amount of love… there are some days, and probably many days, that it’s very easy to feel like I just didn’t get it right. There are some days that it is so easy to end up feeling guilty.