Someone once told me that when writing a blog post you need to be real; people like real stories, with real emotions. Why read it unless it resonates, why write it unless it’s real. I always try to be honest in my posts, to share from the heart and tonight is no different. When I started writing this it was tinged with sadness as my Nan had passed away only that morning. Sadness and yet also joy fill my heart as I remember her. I write this as much for me as anyone else. I want to remember our final moments together. My memories of my Nan.
There’s a room in our house which has to be my favourite, we call it our snug. It used to be a dining room, then a TV room, and now it just has two chairs and a bookcase in it. It almost feels like this room has no purpose and yet I love to be in it. It’s one of the warmest and quietest rooms and it’s the place I go when I want to sit and read, or pray, or worship Jesus. I love this room, just me & Him in that quiet place, with the doors closed and no interruptions. But I got to thinking recently, am I doing an injustice to my children by doing this? How do they see, how do they know, really know what it’s like if I don’t show them?
Life can be busy. No doubt about that. I don’t know your story but I know mine. Family health issues, busyness around the home, general commitments and a constant battle to try and squeeze in time for so many things that seem important. Our days can be so cram packed that at the end of it all, we can look back and realise we haven’t even uttered a single prayer for our kids. It doesn’t matter you think, they seem fine, I’ll pray tomorrow. But what if our passivity is one of the greatest enemies of this generation, and possibly one of the things that could impact our children more than anything? What if what you do today could change their future forever?
I’ve always loved Christmas. It’s those traditions, those memories, the cosy evenings, it’s the most nostalgic time of year by far. My parents always did such a great job of making it special, we didn’t have loads of money, we didn’t go on those fancy outings that have become an almost expected requirement these days, but to me it was perfect.
When I look back on Christmas as a child there are things that stand out. Little traditions that we had each year. Not big events but little things that created that magic that I long to give to my children.
You’re not enough… You’re not brave enough, not clever enough, not loud enough. You don’t have the confidence, you can’t do it, don’t even try. You need to change, need to fit in, need something else. You just can’t.
A constant stream of messages that try at their core to do one thing, make us believe we are not enough. That as we are, the people we were made to be, we are not enough. That we are restricted, enclosed but not free. This isn’t just aimed at us, these are the messages that are probably already, in many subtle ways, trying to convince your children that they need to change. But we don’t need to be passive, we absolutely can do something about it.
I can vividly remember the scene; I’ll never forget it, it was the first time. I was at Primary school and in the library. Myself and one of my best friends had just had an argument and as young children tend to be over their temporarily broken friendships, in that moment I felt devastated.
As I walked around that small little room, just me in it, I whispered in my heart cries to God. I told Him and perhaps moaned, telling him what had just happened and pouring out my hurt and sense of just anger over this situation. He was my Father and I wanted His help. And then it came, in an instant, it was the first time I had ever really noticed it. A sudden immense peace like nothing I had ever felt. My heart was still. The hurt and anger had completely gone and there it was, a peace, a joy, a stillness. I’ll never forget that moment.
Are your children suffering? Are you struggling? What if knowing and doing just one thing could change it all! So many people don’t realise this, but it’s incredibly powerful and it could just change your’s and your children’s lives forever!
The other day a close friend of mine shared a blog post I’d written a couple of years back. As I read it I was reminded of how at that time I was feeling guilty about so many aspects of motherhood, I could almost sense those feelings of struggle and striving again. Those “what if” questions and worries that we can all face at some point. Yet as I read the post it hit me, I don’t feel like that anymore, not at all. Those struggles I had are over and a new enjoyment of motherhood has come. It isn’t the potential to worry that has changed, that will always be there, but I had.
Insult me and I’m not too happy about it but I’m a grown girl, I can take it but insult my children and you’re in trouble. You know what I’m talking about right. It makes me smile, us mummies can be so calm and gentle until someone comes after our children and it’s like something happens to us, this protection comes out and we can almost become fierce! You don’t mess with our babies, now it’s personal!
How could I have missed it? I was feeling so unwell but still how could I miss the last time. That precious moment that I can never, ever get back. I felt genuinely sad. It made me wonder, had I missed other precious ‘last time’ moments without even realising it and what else are we currently walking through that may also be the last time.